Can you come up to the club? I reply.

What time?

Well. I was thinking about one o’clock would suit me.

Er. Ok. Will the bar be open?

The bar?

Look. I tell you what. Let’s meet for lunch. I’ll be in the Toby Carvery. In the Brighton Road. It’s just down the road from you. One alright?

Before I can reply, Phil hangs up. So, the Carvery it is then. One o’clock.

Across the bar, through a haze of blue smoke, I catch sight of Phil sitting in the corner with his laptop open in front of him and a big cigar jutting out from his mouth. Thank God the Big Slick’s non-smoking, I’m thinking.

‘Phil,’ I hail and he immediately jumps up to greet me heartily, a wide grin on his face, resplendent in what can only be described as a silver suit. ‘Alan Castle,’ I introduce myself and we shake hands vigorously.

‘Hya matey. What yer having?’

Phil’s hair is swept back tight from his forehead and tied in a long pony tail at the back. He sports a rakish mustache. He’s not as tall as I’d thought he’d be. He seems to be in very good spirits.

‘Phil. How are you?’

‘Top of the World, matey. Top of the World.’

‘Thanks for agreeing to do the interview at such short notice.’

‘No problemo.’

‘How are we for time?’

‘No worries, Alan. They’re open all day, here.’

‘No. I meant. I was like wondering if you’ve got to get back to work or anything.’

‘Nah. We’ve got all day, if you want. I’ve got a new job.’

‘Oh. Right. Congratulations.’

‘Yeah. Finally got out of the rut and into the groove.’

'Right.'

'Yep. No more Turner & Pearce-Botham Estate Agents for me. No more stuck behind a desk all weekend waiting for punters to come into the office. You see, Alan, these days, in my business, you have to be dynamic. Valuations. Offers. Deals. It’s all done on the move. People want an instant response, instant decisions, instant results. And that’s where I come in.'

'Right.'

The trouble with Turners - too stick in the mud. You've gotta move with the times. The thing is, Alan. Mobile communications has changed everything.

'Right.' I nod. Phil lights another cigar. I try to get the interview underway. 'So. Phil. You’re pretty much a regular at the Big Slick Poker Club these days?'

'Yeah. I get down there at least a couple of times a week. Whenever I can fit it in with my other business and social commitments, etcetera. Still. Hopefully. I should be able to play a lot more in future. What with the new job and that. That’s the great thing about being paid on results. No more nine-to-five. And with the commission package I’m on – the sky’s the limit.'

‘Right.’

‘Ready for another?’

'Oh. Right. My turn. What would you like?'

‘Guinness. Lovely. Ta.’

I get back, after a bit of a queue at the bar. ‘Right. Where were we, Phil? Oh, yeah. We were talking about Big Slick.’

‘That’s right. And of course. Since I moved into the new flat, it’s only just down the road for me.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah. Yeah. Much better all round. It’s a little bit smaller than the last place, but that suits me. Small – but compact. And I’ve got my own parking spot - which is great. Well, it’s not actually mine as such. The parking area is shared – communial – but often as not I get a space. Especially if I can get away early – which is much easier for me now that I’m out on the road.’

‘Right.’

‘Yeah. All-in-all things are much better. Much nicer area altogether. Nice neighbours. Not that I’ve actually spoken to any of them yet, as such. Though, there is a very nice young lady in the flat upstairs. Very nice. Classy. Know what I mean? Said good morning to her yesterday. Haven’t had a chance to chat to her properly yet, you know?’

‘Right. Right. I guess you’ve played around quite a bit in your time, Phil?’

‘Eh!’

‘So how do you rate the Big Slick, compared to other poker rooms?’

‘Oh. Right. Well. Yeah. Well. As you say. I’ve played all over. You know? And. Well. The Big Slick. In my opinion. It’s numero uno. A really nice club, you know. And the people are very friendly. Mostly. And there’s always plenty of krill about – if you know what I mean?’ (Phil grins cheekily).

‘Uh?’

‘No. But, seriously. For me. The Big Slick is definitely the best poker club around. There’s always a good crowd in there. Always plenty of cash action. Always somewhere to park. And now they’ve got the food sorted-out it makes for a very pleasant way to spend the evening – especially after a long day spent driving the Croydon property market forward. You’re not looking to move in the near future, are you, Alan?’

‘Eh. No. Not really. No, I’m not.’

'Pity. Still. If you were ever thinking of looking for something in the housing market. Don’t hesitate to give us a bell. He’s my card.'

‘Thanks. Cheers. So.’

‘What you having?’

‘Oh. No. Not for me thanks.’

Phil goes to the bar, which gives me a chance to go through my notes. The interview isn’t really getting very far and I’ve got another appointment in an hour’s time. Phil returns carrying a pint of Guinness and a load of packets of crisps, which he dumps down, scattering them across the table.

‘Lunch is served. Help yourself, Alan. All plain, I’m afraid. But, I can’t stand those flavoured ones.’

‘Phil. Just to move things on a little, I’ve got a list of quick-fire questions some of the staff and club members put together. I was wondering if we could quickly run through them next?’

‘No problemo. Fire away.’

‘Right. Question one. What is your table name online?’

‘Well. To be honest. I’ve got several - that I use on different sites .’

‘Oh. Right. What are they?’

‘Well. Like I say. I’ve got more than one. You know?’

‘Sure. Sure. I know the readers would love to know what they are. That way they can look out for you when you’re playing online.’

‘Yeah. Well. That’s my point. I mean. Part of the attraction for me online is that you can be anonymous. You know? Trouble is. When you are a well known player like me. A face, so to speak, in the poker world. Well. Especially in live games. I mean everybody recognizes you. So, it’s not so easy. You know. It’s better to disguise your game. Never let 'em know which way your coming from. That's my motto. So, I don’t really like everybody knowing who I am online.’

‘Oh. Only it would be great to include them in the piece we’re doing for the website. Come on Phil. You can at least tell us one of them. Can't you? For your fans.’

‘Alright. Alright. For the fans, then. Well. One of the names I use quite a lot is lonewolf109 . ’

‘Lonewolf - 109?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Right. And the 109. Does that have some special significance for you? Is it like your birthday? 10th of September?’

‘Er? No. No. It’s not my birthday or nothing. It’s just when I chose it - the name Lone Wolf - there were 108 others already registered on the site. So…'

'So, you became lonewolf109.’

‘109. Exactly.’

‘Right.’

‘Yeah.’

‘So. Not that lone then? Hey?’ I can’t resist ribbing Phil’s a little.

‘No. S’pose not. No.’ Phil smiles - takes a giant swig from his glass - pulls hard on his cigar - blows smoke all over me. Great. Not.

‘Right. Question two.’

‘What’s yours then?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Oh. Windsor.’

‘ Windsor?’

‘Yeah. Alan – Windsor - Castle. Windsor Castle. That’s my surname - Castle. So, Windsor. Windsor Castle.’

‘Oh. Right. Gotcha. Yeah. Very clever.’

‘Question two. What’s your favourite band?’

‘Well, It’s gotta be Elvis. Though I am very big fan of Johnny Winter.’

‘Favourite food?’

‘Ooow. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Pizzas. Burger King. And I do love a good curry.’

‘Dream car?’

‘Ford Mustang, or maybe a GT40. Yeah. GT40. Or, maybe an Aston Martin DB7. Minus machine guns – though the ejector seat would come in very handy. Area manager for a start. Know what I mean? Button. Click. Woosh!’

‘Right. Favourie film?’

‘Rocky.’

‘What football team do you support.’

‘West Ham in Engalnd. And Man U. Celtic in Scotland. Lazio in Italy. And AC Milan.’

‘Favourite hand in poker?’

‘Aces.’

‘Aces.’

‘Preferably suited.’

‘Suited?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Aces suited? Oh. Right. Suited aces. Very good, Phil. Next question What person in history most influenced you when you were growing up.’

‘Erm? History? Right? That’s a tough one. Er? Well. I suppose it would have to be someone like – Nelson Mandela. Or Che. Yeah. Che, I’d say. Man of the people. Fighting and laying down his life for freedom and justice for the people. Yeah. Che Guevara. He was a doctor, you know.’

‘Dream date?’

‘ Jordan.’

‘If you were stranded on a desert island and you could only take one luxury item. What would it be?’

‘Cigar cutter.’

‘Cigar cutter?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Sorry Phil. But what good would that be?’

‘What?’

‘Well. What good would a cigar cutter be on a desert island - without cigars?’

‘Yeah. Well. Obviously, I’d want some cigars as well…’

‘But that’s more than one thing…‘

‘Yeah. And a lighter, of course. Or maybe matches would be better. But they might get damp. No. A lighter and a dirty great can of lighter fuel. Or gas. Yeah and throw in a dozen cases of Rioja, while you're at it…’

‘Um. I’m not sure you quite... I mean you’re only supposed to take one item. The question says one luxury item. I don’t think you can take a whole list of things.’

‘Why not? I mean. Let's face it. A cigar cuttter’s not much bluddy good without cigars. Is it? Whose bluddy desert island is it anyway? I don’t see why you can’t take what you want. Anyway. It was your idea. I didn’t even want to go to a desert island in the first place.’

‘Umm. No. Ok. Moving on.’

‘Your round, I think?’

‘Oh. Right. Sure. Same again? ’ Phil nods.

‘Oh. And some more crisps. Plain Ones.’

‘Sure.’

‘Lovely. All on the firm anyway. No doubt.’

I get back from the bar to find Phil chatting with some people sitting close by. It goes on for quite some time. Phil downs another pint. The guy he’s talking to offers to buy him another.

‘Cheers. Yeah. Well, of course, as I was saying, mobile communications have changed everything. That’s where I come in…’

‘Sorry. Phil. Sorry to interupt. It’s just that I’ll have get going soon.’

‘Anything for you Alan.’

‘Just a couple more questions. Let me see. Right. Yes. Here we are. Phil, you seem to have come to the attention of the poker world only recently. Mostly through your blog and articles. How long have you been playing?’

‘Oh. I started about two years ago. A mate of mine who was very much into poker said to me – why don’t I come down to a tournament in Brighton. I said – I don’t even know how to play the game. Never played it.

Anyhow, he persuaded me to go with him and over lunch he gave me a quick lesson on the rules of Texas Holdem. And well. I suppose the rest is history, as they say. And I went on to win my very first ever tournament the first time I’d ever played the game.

I still remember the thrill of piling up all those chips and knocking people out. And the look on their faces. I just seemed to take to it naturally. Like a duck to water, you might say. Thing is. People just didn’t know what to make of me. They folded when I was bluffing and called when I had the nuts.’

‘And since then? Any major wins?’

‘Well. I’ve had my successes. You know?’

‘Right. And what were they?’

‘Well. You know it’s not all about winning for me, Alan. But, if you mean tournament wins. Well I suppose my biggest win was my win down in Brighton.’

‘Right.’

‘I’ve won a few tourneys online.’

‘Oh. Right, What were they?’

‘Well. Nothing very big as such.’

‘Right. Sit and goes.’

‘But. As I say. Poker for me is not just about winning. I like to think that I can bring something to table.’

‘What? Like value, you mean?’

‘Eh?’

‘Only kidding.’

‘Well. Like the perspective I try to bring to poker, which I try to reflect in the articles I write on the game. And the poker blog.’

‘Right. Yeah. Your poker blog. I was reading some of it the other day, in preparation for this interview. Very good. I must say. And very refreshing. And there was one I read that I particularly enjoyed. That piece you posted about folding your aces. Very funny. I had a really good chuckle over that one. Advising beginners to fold their aces. Very nice joke. Where do you get you ideas from, Phil?’

‘Look mate. Are you taking the p-ss?’

‘Sorry, Phil. Of course not. What do you mean?’

‘Like I said. I try to put something back into the game. And through my articles and the blog I try to pass on a little bit of the benefit of my experience.’

‘Yeah. Like folding aces. Don’t forget. I was there. It was me who got ‘em cracked.’

‘So. What are you trying to tell me? Telling beginners to fold therir aces is good advice. Come on, Phil.’

‘Well. it was me that got ‘em cracked…’

‘Yeah. But you can’t seriously…’

‘I was actually there mate…’

‘I mean. No way can you be saying that that is good advice…’

‘I called it. And got beaten by a pair of eights…’

‘Yes. But that is always going to happen But that doesn’t make it… I mean it’s still the right call to make. ‘Sometimes, the best hand loses…’

‘Yeah. Damn right. And that’s just what I am trying to say. The best hand did get beaten.’

‘Yes. But. Sorry, Phil. But that is terrible advice you’r giving.’

‘Look mate.’

‘Terrible.’

‘I was there. I saw it. They got cracked. Right? So, obviously, it must have been the wrong call.’

‘I just don’t believe what I’m hearing! Phil, that is really terrible advice. .’

‘Listen Alan. I gotta tell you, mate. You are really starting to get on my t-ts. Know what I mean?’

I'm still shaking my head in disbelief when Phil gets up out of his chair waving his arms about. He seems quite upset. He sways forward. The table rocks. I try to think of something to say to calm the situation down – when Phil’s glass of Guinness suddenly goes flying – emptying itself all over his open laptop computer.

‘F—k!’

‘F—k!’

I decide to make a hasty exit from the pub and move hurriedly out across the car park. Even as I jump in my car and ram the key into the ignition, I can still plainly hear Phil's bellowing voice.

‘F—k it!’